Saturday, October 31, 2009
Posted by theo at 4:53 PM
Z is the Zenith from which we decline,
While Y is your Yelp as you're twisting your spine.
X is for Xmas; the alternative
Is an X-ray that gives you just one year to live.
So three cheers for Santa, and onward to W.
W's Worry, but don't let it trouble you:
W easily might have been Worse.
V, unavoidably, has to be Verse.
U is Uncertainty. T is a Trial
At which every objection is met with denial.
S is a Sentence of "Guilty as Charged."
R is a Russian whose nose is enlarged
By inveterate drinking, while Q is the Quiet
That falls on a neighborhood after a riot.
P is a Pauper with nary a hope
Of lining his pockets or learning to cope.
O is an Organ transplanted in vain,
While N is the Number of "Enemies Slain":
Three thousand three hundred and seventy-three.
If no one else wants it, could M be for Me?
No, M is reserved for a mad Millionaire,
And L is his Likewise, and goes to his heir.
K is a Kick in the seat of your pants,
And J is the Jury whose gross ignorance
Guaranteed the debacle referred to above.
I's the Inevitability of
Continued inflation and runaway crime,
So draw out your savings and have a good time.
H is your Heart at the moment it breaks,
And G is the Guile it initially takes
To pretend to believe that it someday will heal.
F is the strange Fascination we feel
For whatever's Evil–Yes, Evil is E–
And D is our Dread at the sight of a C,
Which is Corpse, as you've surely foreseen. B is bone.
A could be anything. A is unknown.
Posted by theo at 4:19 PM
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
He had driven half the night
From far down San Joaquin
Through Mariposa, up the
Dangerous Mountain roads,
And pulled in at eight a.m.
With his big truckload of hay
behind the barn.
With winch and ropes and hooks
We stacked the bales up clean
To splintery redwood rafters
High in the dark, flecks of alfalfa
Whirling through shingle-cracks of light,
Itch of haydust in the
sweaty shirt and shoes.
At lunchtime under Black oak
Out in the hot corral,
---The old mare nosing lunchpails,
Grasshoppers crackling in the weeds---
"I'm sixty-eight" he said,
"I first bucked hay when I was seventeen.
I thought, that day I started,
I sure would hate to do this all my life.
And dammit, that's just what
I've gone and done."
Posted by theo at 1:47 PM
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
“The fact is that the average man’s love of liberty is nine-tenths imaginary, exactly like his love of sense, justice and truth. He is not actually happy when free; he is uncomfortable, a bit alarmed, and intolerably lonely. Liberty is not a thing for the great masses of men. It is the exclusive possession of a small and disreputable minority, like knowledge, courage and honor. It takes a special sort of man to understand and enjoy liberty–and he is usually an outlaw in democratic societies.”
— H.L. Mencken
Posted by theo at 6:11 PM
There are two things which cannot be attacked in front: ignorance and narrow-mindedness. They can only be shaken by the simple development of the contrary qualities. They will not bear discussion
~ Lord Acton
Posted by theo at 9:37 AM
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
As the risen Savior, He is this day and forever the Light of the World. It is He who invites us to come unto Him and serve Him, without delay. His encouragement to you and to me is this: “I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me.”
That is as true of a day as it is of a life. A morning prayer and an early search in the scriptures to know what we should do for the Lord can set the course of a day. We can know which task, of all those we might choose, matters most to God and therefore to us. I have learned such a prayer is always answered if we ask and ponder with childlike submission, ready to act without delay to perform even the most humble service.
* * * *
For those who are discouraged by their circumstances and are therefore tempted to feel they cannot serve the Lord this day, I make you two promises. Hard as things seem today, they will be better in the next day if you choose to serve the Lord this day with your whole heart. Your circumstances may not be improved in all the ways which you desire. But you will have been given new strength to carry your burdens and new confidence that when your burdens become too heavy, the Lord, whom you have served, will carry what you cannot. He knows how. He prepared long ago. He suffered your infirmities and your sorrows when He was in the flesh so that He would know how to succor you.
The other promise I make to you is that by choosing to serve Him this day, you will feel His love and grow to love Him more.
--Henry Eyring, Disciple
Posted by theo at 5:37 PM
Our legal affairs correspondent, Ms. Bethany Richards, asks a provocative question about our supreme law: "The Constitution requires a president to be a natural born citizen. But what makes a natural born citizen any more qualified than one born by C-section?"
Posted by theo at 5:25 PM
Alfred Nobel was inspired to create an award for contributions to peace after reading his obituary prematurely published by a French newspaper in 1888, condemning him for his invention of dynamite. The obituary was entitled "The merchant of death is dead" and said in part, "Dr. Alfred Nobel, who became rich by finding ways to kill more people faster than ever before, died yesterday."
Nobel, not wanting to be remembered only as a man who was responible for causing death, stipulated in his will that the peace prize should go "to the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between the nations and the abolition or reduction of standing armies and the formation and spreading of peace congresses."
Moral: Explore your personal legacy before it's too late. Fortunately Irene's Mustache is here to help. For details and price information on your very own personal dry-run funeral, complete with obituary, contact:
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P.S. And speaking of explosions--How about our recent bombing of the moon? Man, did we kick the moon’s butt or whatt!! Chalk one up for the USA!
Posted by theo at 4:38 PM
Friday, October 9, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Upon returning from Jackson County in the Spring of 1832, Joseph's traveling companion, Newell K. Whitney, had his leg crushed when the team pulling their carriage ran away. Joseph was left for weeks in Greenville, Indiana, with not much to do as he waited for his companion to recover sufficiently to resume their journey home to Kirtland. From a letter written to Emma during that time:
My situation is a very unpleasant one although I will endeavor to be contented, the Lord assisting me. I have visited a grove which is just back of the town almost every day where I can be secluded from the eyes of any mortal and there give vent to all the feelings of my heart in meditation and prayer. I have called to mind all the past moments of my life and am left to mourn and shed tears of sorrow for my folly in suffering the adversary of my soul to have so much power over me as he has had in times past but God is merciful and has forgiven my sins and I rejoice that he sendeth forth the Comforter unto as many as believe and humbleth themselves before him. *** I will try to be contented with my lot knowing that God is my friend; in him I shall find comfort, I have given my life into his hands. I am prepared to go at his call. I desire to be with Christ. I count not my life dear to me only to do his will...
Posted by theo at 7:00 PM