Tuesday, March 17, 2009

"Science & Technology" by B. Richards

Our field reporter, Ms. Bethany Richards, has been reassigned from "general interest" to our science and technology beat. She just faxed in this report:

Scientists Discover Third Cindy Crawford Facial Expression

CAMBRIDGE, MA—The international scientific and high-fashion communities were rocked Monday by the discovery of a third facial expression on high-profile supermodel Cindy Crawford.

The new expression, a slight variation on one of the two previously known Crawford faces, had existed only as a computer-generated theoretical construct until Monday, when a team of MIT scientists definitively proved its existence. MIT research heads Dr. Roland Eisenheutz and Dr. Deng Mo Pan discovered the expression after meticulously sifting through over 75,000 photographs of Crawford.

The finding confirmed a 1991 theory developed by Stanford researcher Milton Standish, who, after exhaustive computer analysis of Crawford's facial musculature, postulated the existence of a third, "latent" expression hidden behind the other two. The discovery marks the first new supermodel facial expression since University of Chicago physicist Richard Feynman isolated Lauren Hutton's "aloof pout" in 1974.

Crawford's two previously known facial expressions—the sexy "winning smile," a dazzling, white-toothed grin conveying confidence and sass, and the equally alluring "sultry glance," a smoky, heavy-lidded variation on the across-the-room stare—are well-known within scientific circles for their ability to stop men dead in their tracks. The existence of a third expression, however, has until now been limited to mere conjecture.

First-ever photographic evidence confirming the theory.

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